Uncle Ralph - 364 Day Marriage

The true story of Ralph's short-lived marriage.

Table of Contents:

• All posts
• Prequel: My uncle was a one-armed paper hanger
• Introduction
• The Arm
• Driving
• One Armed Adaptations
• 364 Day Marriage
• Paper Hanger

My earliest memory was of him living in a basement flat at 10 Philbeach Gardens in Earl's Court (aka Kangaroo Valley on account of the number of Aussies who lived there). He lived with his girlfriend, Irene, "in sin" as it was described in those days. Very exciting and risqué for someone like me growing up in the very conventional milieu of middle England in the ‘70s.

They subsequently moved upmarket to a 2-bedroom flat at 28 Gainsborough Mansions, Queen’s Club Gardens in Barons Court where Irene’s mother tried to bribe them into marriage with the offer of a three piece suite as a wedding gift! No dice. Eventually Irene gave up waiting and left for Colorado where her sister and mother had relocated some years previously.

Ralph continued to talk to Irene by phone usually on a Friday night after an evening down the Colton Arms. One particularly inebriated evening he suggested they get married. Next day he got a call from Irene to say the date was fixed and he was to present himself at her home in Colorado on such-and-such a date which he duly did.

Apparently the sister and mother both wanted to have the preacher conduct the service in their respective front parlours and got into a heated debate. Exasperated, Irene rang up the reception venue and asked if they could also host the wedding, “Sure”. And so that is how Ralph ended up marrying in the Colorado Holiday Inn on 18 August 1979 when he was 48 years old.

Ancestry.co.uk were able to give me the date but wanted me to upgrade my subscription to research the US records hence the redacted detail. I'm not sufficient nosey at this stage to cough up.

Unfortunately for Irene the cheapest flight out to the States was in fact a one-year return deal. As the 12-month deadline approached Ralph wondered how the lads in the Colton Arms were getting on. "Shame to waste the other half of the ticket." So he returned to the UK and never went back!

Irene was not impressed to say the least.

Next: Paper Hanger

Thirtieth Wedding Anniversary Meal

Penrith, Cumbria. Monday 30-October-2023.

Blimey! Thirty years!! Maybe I'll blog the actual day but for now I'll focus on the celebrations. Started blogging in 2004 so I have info on the last 20 years.

• 0th (1993). Our honeymoon was in Egypt including a Nile Cruise and a stay at the Old Cataract Hotel, setting for Murder on the Nile.
• 1st to 9th Anniversaries (1994-2002). We decided not to buy presents but take it in turn to organise mystery weekends away.
• 1: 1994 - Bath (spa hotel)
• 2: 1995 - Stratford (RSC production of Romeo & Juliet)
• 3: 1996 - Matlock Bath (murder mystery weekend)
• 4: 1997 - Bruges (mussels, fog)
• 5: 1998 - Bosworth (tanks, trains and battlefields)
• 6: 1999 - Cotswolds
• 7: 2000 - London (British Museum, dance at QEH)
• 8: 2001 - Dublin
• 9: 2002 - Norfolk (mushroom foray with Peter Jordan)
• 10th (2003). We did a Nile cruise. We went to Egypt for our honeymoon so that seemed a good way to celebrate 10 years. We visited Cairo which we skipped the previous visit and did the pyramids, the Tutankhamun museum and a second Nile cruise.
  I relaxed the “no presents rule”. Mary's engagement ring was an antique, hand-cut, half carat diamond solitaire. Some months before I had commissioned our local jewellers to source a pair of the same and had them made into earrings. I presented these to Mary on the cruise. Mary, not expecting anything big, gave me a copy of  "The Rough Guide to Egypt". Oh how we laughed!
• 11th (2004). Celebrations nearly cancelled because of the loss of our cat Oscar but in the end went for a Rare and Fine Wine dinner at BBR.
• 12th (2005). Puglia with Sandra and May (mother-in-law).
• 13th (2006). Puglia with a meal at Il Convivio in Osunti.
• 14th (2007). Puglia and a meal at Ti Amo back in London.
• 15th (2008). A trip to Casablanca.
• 16th (2009). South Africa: Paarl and Hermanus.
• 18th (2011). South Africa: Green Point Cottage, Cape Town.
• 19th (2012). Padstow fish school and the Horne Section at QEH.
• 20th (2013). Van Morrison at RAH Blues Festival followed by the Orient Express from London to Venice followed by a stay in Venice. Full report. Pretty special that. 
• 21st (2014). Robert Cray at RAH Blues festival.
• 22nd (2015). Neither of us can remember! But we were in Italy for the olive harvest.
• 23rd (2016). Van Morrison and Jeff Beck at RAH Blues Festival.
• 24th (2017). COYA Peruvian restaurant in Mayfair.
• 25th (2018). Holbeck Ghyll weekend.
• 26th (2019). One of Mary's bucket list items: a box at the RAH for Blues at RAH.
• 27th (2020). Dog and Gun, Skelton.
• 28th (2021). Winter Droving 2021, La Casita.
• 29th (2022). Winter Droving 2022, Michelin starred meal at HRiSHi at Gilpin Hotel.
• 30th (2023). Three weeks Interrail trip across Europe (blog posts to follow), Winter Droving 2023, Private chef meal at home.

All that said we still have a way to go to match my parents 60th. I'l be 100 when that happens!

When we got married we were two households alike in gadgetry. We had no need of electrical appliances or toast racks; our wedding list included luxuries such as bottles of Chateau Lynch Bages 1989 - the year we met. Our friends could buy as few or as many as they chose; we got up to ten so we bought the last two to complete the case. We are working our way gradually through them. By dint of great restraint we had saved the very last bottle for this anniversary!

This was the menu that Lee proposed for us.

Pickled quail, eggs, smoked trout, baby gem, and celeriac salad.

Pork and smoked chicken terrine, home-made piccalilli and sour dough crackers.

Local pheasant breast stuffed with wild boar and damson, olive and caper crushed new potatoes with a wild mushroom jus.

Panfried supreme of hake, spiced puy lentils, home-made lime pickle and pickled samphire.

Passion fruit meringue pie.

Warm, rhubarb and ginger crumble with almond creme Anglaise.

Altogether a splendid meal to round off a weekend of celebrations.

Our 26th wedding Anniversary

Royal Albert Hall, London. Wednesday, 30-October-2019.

We celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary by ticking off one of Mary's bucket list items: a hospitality box at the Royal Albert Hall.

Last year for the big one, our 25th, we made it just the two of us in a hotel in the Lake District with a very nice meal. This year might have been similar but Ronnie Scotts decided to celebrate their 60th anniversary with a special concert in the RAH. As a member of Ronnie Scott's Mary gets advance notification through the mailing list. She saw this event and was able to grab the last available hospitality box.

The box seats eight. The first four were easy, my best man Pete and his wife Amanda, Mary's matron of honour Geraldine and her husband Alisdair. That's left two seats and too many siblings. So we invited Mary's old boss, and now friends, Grant and his wife Helen to complete the set.

The floor of the house was set up cabaret style, like a giant version of Ronnie's club.

Geraldine and Mary.

AJ Rahney at London Jazz News writes:

"On stage the Ronnie Scott’s All Stars house band quintet led by Pete Long, and Ronnie Scott’s Jazz Orchestra, accompanied a terrifying cast of talents, each of whom brought their own personal connection to the club." Full review...

Artistes included: Judi Jackson, Ian Shaw, Natalie Williams, Curtis Stigers, Liane Carroll, China Moses, Nigel Kennedy, Ezra Collective, Kinetika Bloco, Courtney Pine, Kurt Elling, Imelda May, Roy Ayres, Madeline Bell and Van Morrison. One of the more surprising performances was Nigel Kennedy playing Jimi Hendrix but apparently he has been doing this for 20 years [Google "Nigel Kennedy Jimi Hendrix"].

Ronnie Scott played the tenor sax and so were many of the early artists he booked. As a tribute the final part of the evening was 60 sax players on stage and parading around the hall.

We had our own dedicated waiter and ample food and drink included in the price.

A great way to celebrate our wedding anniversary in style with the best of friends.

Our 25th Wedding Anniversary

Windermere, Cumbria, UK. Tuesday 30-October-2018.

We always do something on our wedding anniversary for just the two of us. This year we wanted something special so we chose a luxury county house hotel - the Holbeck Ghyll just outside Windermere in the Lake District.

The view from our bedroom window:

It was set in wooded grounds rich in autumnal colours.

Mary bought an Alexander McQueen dress for our 20th celebration - a trip on the Orient Express - London to Venice. With great self control she has been dieting and exercising to ensure that she could get back into it for our 25th.

Back in 2006 we attended a BBR champagne school as a result of which we bought half a dozen bottles of Pol Roger Winston Churchill 1996 which we are gradually working our way through on special occasions. None more so this this. There was no mini bar in the hotel, fortunately the window sill outside was cold enough to keep it chilled for our pre-dinner aperitif.

When we got married we were two households alike in gadgetry. We had no need of electrical appliances or toast racks; our wedding list included luxuries such as bottles of Chateau Lynch Bages 1989 - the year we met. Our friends could buy as few or as many as they chose; we got up to ten so we bought the last two to complete the case. Like the champagne, we are working our way gradually through them.

The hotel was going to charge a large corkage fee but given the current list price of the wine it was worth paying (fortunately in the end they didn't charge it). We took the bottle down a few hours in advance for the sommelier to decant and allow it to breath.

The meal was excellent and the wine was superb. Celebration unlocked!

Van Morrison and Jeff Beck at The O2

"London. Sunday 30-October-2016.

Once again Van Morrison's appearance at the BluesFest has coincided with our wedding anniversary, this year our 23rd. This time a double bill with Jeff Beck who we also last saw at The O2 back in 2010, then in concert with Eric Clapton.

So we preceded the concert with very nice meal at Gaucho and consequently felt suitably mellow as we took our seats.

Jeff Beck was up first and was excellent followed by Van The Man. Having seen Van Morrison many times (we think this is the eighth) we have never been disappointed. I particularly liked Moondance which he did in preference to Brown Eyed Girl which I have never been that fond of.

It was very different seeing him from way back in the O2 where you had to rely on the big screens as opposed to smaller venues where you can see him directly. The music is the same but the experience isn't quite the same. That aside it was a good concert, both The Evening Standard and The Upcoming gave it four stars.

Sarah Bradbury, The Upcoming: "What better way to end a packed weekend of blues, rock and soul than with two British masters of their craft: Jeff Beck and Van Morrison. [...] The Northern Irish songwriter may have failed to get his Sunday night crowd up and dancing but he proved his transcendental style and sublimely soulful voice still have much to offer with this masterclass in blues." Full review...

A great way to end the BluesFest and celebrate 23 year of marriage.

BluesFest 2014 at The Royal Albert Hall

Thursday 30-October-2014.

For our 21st wedding anniversary the nice people at BluesFest London had laid on a programme of concerts for us. We orginally booked for the main evening performance but when we learnt that Marcus Bonfanti was playing we added on a stroller ticket and took the afternoon off work.

First on in the Elgar Room were Dr Feelgood who belted out some good ol' rock'n'roll. Robert Kane makes an excellent front man giving it plenty of energy.

Then Marcus Bonfanti who we have seen now for the eighth time. Seeing someone that many times you get to see different styles of performance from the wonderful acoustic set at Green Note Cafe to the raucous rock star version last year at Blues Fest 2013. This was slightly to the gentler side of centre.

For the third session we saw a little of the Matt White Trio in the appallingly unsympathetic venue of the Verdi room. We listened to a couple couple of songs then bailed in favour of The Excitements in the West Arena Foyer. A good call as they belted out some Rhythm 'n' Blues and Soul. The lead singer's style was a mix of younger versions of Aretha Franklin with a bit of Tina Turner thrown in.

Supper was in the Coda Restaurant. The waiter asked if we had been there before - "Yes, exactly one year ago for our last wedding anniversary".

The main concert was Robert Cray - excuse the poor quality iPhone photo - fortunately the music was high quality :-)

After the interval was Californian singer-songwriter Beth Hart\ about whom we knew nothing. We had come to see Robert Cray unlike the guy in the seat next to us who had come to sees Beth. She was good but not good enough to hold us to the very end - we were both feeling tired so we sneaked out before the end and grabbed a black cab home.

Venice 2013

Our trip on the Orient Express ended at the Santa Lucia railway station. The transfer from station to hotel was by water taxi, given Venice's watery nature the only sensible way to make the trip.

Mary had done her research and booked us two nights in the Hotel Al Ponte Antico that had rave reviews on Trip Advisor. It is a converted palazzo (palace) and had amazing high ceilings complete with frescoes. The location was unbeatable, right on the grand canal with its own balcony and a view of the Rialto bridge - stunning!

View of the Grand Canal from the balcony

View of the Rialto Bridge from the balcony

The bar and dining area

The ceiling of the bar and dining area

After checking in and a rest we went out to eat at Osteria Antico Dolo recommended by the hotel owner. Busy and full of other tourists; we had to wait to be seated but were too tired to look elsewhere. Very authentic, local food but I made a poor choice. I had not realised that the tagliatelle with squid would be in a squid ink sauce. While an unusual and typical dish, the blackness of it all and the grainy texture were not really what I had been looking for. Oh well.

Osteria Antico Dolo

That last time we were in Venice was in 2001, at the time of the twin towers so I can date it easily. We had the Cadogan Guide with walks for each of the six sestiere or neighbourhoods. Then we did one per day but on the last day time constraints meant we had to truncate the Cannaregio walk. This time we had a full day in Venice on the Saturday so literally retraced our steps and completed the entire sixth walk.

Cannaregio - door

Cannaregio - bridge

There were masses of tourists about, especially Italian tourists, because the Friday, being All Saints' Day, was a national holiday.

Piazza San Marco

We manage to find an excellent little bistro for lunch - Osteria ai 40 Ladroni - that was everything I had been hoping for the night before. Full of locals and tasty, fresh cooked food.

Cannaregio - gondola park

That evening, thanks to more research by Mary, we dined at Ristorante Algiubagio [http://www.algiubagio.net/eng] down on the Fondamente Nove. That was a much more satisfactory dining experience - a class restaurant with excellent food and wines - a suitably romantic, candle-lit supper.

Ristorante Algiubagio starter

Our direct flight on Sunday from Venice to Bari had been cancelled some weeks back so we had ourselves rebooked via Rome. Unfortunately the large number of Italian tourists returning home after the weekend meant the queues were horrendous. It took forever to do bag drop and security - we were only just through the scanners at the same time as our flight was due to leave. Stress levels sky rocketing. Fortunately so many people were in the same boat (plane?) as us that they had to delay the flight - we were part of an entire busload of passengers similarly delayed.

At Rome we had a reduced connection time as a result. Fortunately both flights were domestic so no formalities to queue for. As luck would have it our arrival gate and departure gate were not only in the same terminal but directly above one another. We only had to go down on escalator and so made our flight easily; not so our luggage…

We arrived at Bari and waited until the carousal was empty and then reported our missing luggage. There was a later Rome-Bari flight so we were hoping the bags would make that. Mary was worried because "the dress" plus the cufflinks Mary gave me on our wedding day and some other nice stuff were in those bags.

Later that evening the airline called to say the bags had arrived in Bari and they would be delivered to our apartment in Cisternino the next day. Sure enough around 10:30 the bags were delivered to our door - big sighs of relief all round.

Orient Express - London to Venice

Thursday 31-October-2013

The back story: we originally booked for our actual 20th wedding anniversary on the 30th October. Since the schedule was Venice to London we didn't fancy returning home as the culmination of the journey. Instead we booked a half journey Venice to Paris with the plan being a couple of days in Paris before returning home.

A friend of ours said that you got a 25% discount with Nectar. We were dubious but so it turned out: 25% off a big number is a big saving - that is some serious money (http://www.nectar.com/spend/orient-express.points).

A couple of weeks later Venice Simplon-Orient-Express wrote to say that journey was cancelled and, if we cared to rebook, they would give us a further 20% discount, Shedding crocodile tears, we booked the full London to Venice on the the 31st, the anniversary of our honeymoon instead, at a total 45% discount - result!


Departure lounge, Victoria station, Platform 2

The first part of the journey is 30's vintage British Pullman - Victoria to Folkstone with brunch. The carriages are all restored originals full of wonderful wood panelling.


Bellini and Brunch

At Folkstone we transferred to executive coaches to cross the channel via Le Chunnel. On the French side we boarded the Orient-Express proper.


Orient Express Sleeper Carriage with our Maitre de Cabine, Thibault

The train consists of three restaurant cars, a bar car and about six sleeper cars plus kitchen and staff accommodation. We found a complementary half of champagne in our cabin to sip until it was time for cocktail in the bar and dinner in the restaurant.


Isn't this dining room fabulous?

Dinner was lobster, the tenderest fillet steak I have ever eaten, cheese and a dessert, then a digestive and chat with fellow celebrants in the bar afterwards. Friends will not be surprised to learn that we spent the discount money we saved on the wine list.



In our cabin the seating converts into bunk beds. The corner of the cabin has a cupboard containing a washbasin for basic ablutions. The loo is at the end of the carriage. A full shower will have to wait till we get to the hotel in Venice.



The next morning, after breakfast in our cabin, we watched the alps slide past our window. They changed engines at every border otherwise they'd end up with French engines in Italy.


The train

Then it was time for a three course lunch with more fine wines.


Prawn in filo with baked fish

A bit of a siesta followed by afternoon tea and cakes until we arrived in Venice for detraining and a water taxi transfer to our hotel.



People ask "Was it worth it?" The answer has to be "Yes". This experience is, as they say, not available in the shops. Unique.

Full set of photos on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/markmclellan/sets/72157637677307075/

Van Morrison at the Royal Albert Hall

Wednesday 30-October-2013.

Part two of our 20th wedding anniversary celebrations at the BluesFest.

We have seen Van the Man nearly as often as Marcus Bonfanti. The first time was on my birthday nearly a decade ago when we both agreed it was the best concert we had ever been to. We have seen him another thrice and this makes number five. He did not disappoint on this occasion either.

Mick Brown of The Telegraph agrees in a 5 star review:

"Legendary grump, Van Morrison, was in unusually jovial spirits as he lit up the Albert Hall with a stunning performance. [...]

By now it was apparent that something remarkable was happening. Van Morrison was visibly enjoying himself. [...]

The end piece of this performance was All In The Game, with Morrison’s scat vocals fluttering around the melody like a butterfly, seguing into You Know What They’re Writing About - "the poetry section" as he gruffly announced - its stream of consciousness phrases "meet me down by the water... I’ve got no safety net... going to the burning ground’, building to a thrilling climax.

Artistry at work. And - astonishingly - with a smile."

A great wedding anniversary celebration with the Orient Express to look forward to.

Marcus Bonfanti at the Royal Albert Hall

Wednesday 30-October-2013.

Part one of our 20th wedding anniversary celebrations at the BluesFest.

We had already booked our tickets for Van Morrison in the evening when we discovered that Marcus Bonfanti was playing during the afternoon. So we decided to make it a double header with supper in between. We bought a daytime stroller ticket and headed up at lunchtime for an afternoon of wandering about from stage to stage.

We started with Marcus. To quote the man himself "we're gonna do a 10pm style show for you at 2pm!" It was certainly his loudest gig yet and he did the full-on rock guitar god for a whole hour. My ears were ringing as we wandered off to catch the tail end of Natalie Williams' set then stayed on for Liane Carroll.

Afterwards we hung around in the new Berry Brothers and Rudd wine bar sipping champagne until it was time for our pre-show meal in the Coda Restaurant.

Chris Hutchinson - Hanna Mogg Wedding

Wiltshire, England. Saturday, 01-June-2013.

Another nephew gets married: my sister's middle son Chris married Hanna in a charming ceremony on a lovely sunny day. The change in the law that allows venues other than churches and registry offices to hold weddings has led to some delightful locations to be used for this solemn occasion - in this case an ancient barn.


Hannah and Chris sign the register

Wedding: West Barn, Bradford on Avon, BA15 1LF - http://goo.gl/maps/pYT0B
http://www.bradfordheritage.co.uk/weddings.html

When we got married most photographers would offer a set menu of shots to choose from and you would get those photos and no more in a set price package of, say, 18 or 24 or 30 pictures.

With digital photography their photographer snapped away enthusiastically and there will be a lot more photos available eventually. They will get a disc; our photographer still holds the negatives and will not sell them to us.


My sister, her husband, their three sons and partners

After the ceremony we transferred to the reception venue: a tepee in a meadow, another original touch. The schedule allowed for lots of chat before the meal - an good piece of time-tabling as weddings are excellent opportunity to catch-up with people not seen for some time.

Reception: Church Farm, Kington Langley nr Chippenham, SN15 5NN - http://goo.gl/maps/44rEZ

http://www.churchfarmuk.co.uk/location

Mary walks to the tepee

Part of the reception was a bake-off. Various people had baked cakes for us to taste and judge by putting a buttons in jars. And the winner is...



Before the meal, while we sipped Pimms and stuffed our cake-holes, photos were taken of various combinations of family, relations and hangers-on.


Blonde moppet amongst the buttercups


Brother, sister-in-law and their three boys.


Hannah and Chris work the crowd

We slipped away after the meal as neither of us are at all keen on dancing. The next morning we were up early as we had people round for Sunday lunch then Mary was off to Jo'berg that evening.

Hotel: Angel Hotel, Chippenham, SN15 3HD - http://goo.gl/maps/tTiqQ
http://www.bestwestern.co.uk/hotels/angel-hotel-chippenham-83654/hotel-info/default.aspx

Full set of photos on Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/markmclellan/sets/72157633883654953/