YMCA by Christopher - Puppeteer Extraordinaire

You know how certain songs are inextricably linked with particular memories. Whenever I hear YMCA by Village People I am reminded of a time when I was working in Basel, Switzerland and Mary came over for the weekend instead of me going home.

We stayed with our friends John&Andrea who were living over there and Saturday night went out for a meal over the border in France. It was a wonderful meal and as Andrea was the designated driver I do believe we drank her share of the wine.

On the way home to keep Andrea awake and alert we wound down the windows, wound up the stereo and performed a spirited rendition of this song complete with the full Y.M.C.A arm gestures. Andrea did keep one hand one the wheel though I am glad to say.

And here is another version, just t-o-o funny, watch and laugh :-)



URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNoIkuqwoCc

Thanks to Bob Carlsen for drawing this gem to my attention.

Product Survey

Thank you for purchasing a Lockheed Martin military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1.
[_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_]Classified [_] Other
First Name: ......................................................
Initial: ........
Last Name: ......................................................
Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
Code Name: ......................................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ........... ..........

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ....... / ....... /.......

4. Serial Number: .................................................

5. Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the Lockheed Martin product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this Lockheed Martin product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] Lockheed Martin reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
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9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
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10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply:)
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11. How did you pay for your Lockheed Martin product?
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12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
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13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
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[_] Fashion clothing
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Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help Lockheed Martin serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

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Goolleeble's Trefels - Bork, Bork, Bork!

The World Wide Web is a wonderful thing. I was explaining to a colleague that the language preferences in Google include "Elmer Fudd" and "Swedish chef" (the Muppet character). That set me researching...

On the informative Wikipedia page [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swedish_chef] I found a link to a site that will translate web pages into mock-Swedish gibberish. So for your entertainment here is this blog translated into Swedish Chef speak (shuoold be-a reed veet a svedeesh occent!):

Goolleeble's Trefels - Bork, Bork, Bork! [opens in new window]

Sig Humour

I am surprised more people do not configure their email programs to include a .sig which gets appended to every posting, especially as it allows for a sig quote: "A maxim, quote, proverb, joke, or slogan embedded in one's sig block and intended to convey something of one's philosophical stance, pet peeves, or sense of humor."

For years mine was:
"There must be some kind of way out of here" said the joker to the thief
Now it is:
"You cannot change the past but you can shape the future"

Mary's used to be:
"Life is too short to drink bad wine"
Now it is:
"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination." Oscar Wilde

Lurking on news:comp.infosystems.www.authoring.site-design I have been amused by the following .sigs:

"I see a web site and I want to paint it #000000"
"I am a man of many parts, unfortunately some of them are out of stock"
"Keep your friends close by and your enemies in a hole in the ground lined with pointy sticks"
"I can take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once."
"I want to die like my grandfather, peacefully in his sleep, not like his passengers, screaming in terror"

Lipson-Shiu Corporate Type Test

Forget Myers-Briggs, Belbin, Keirsey, FIRO-B, Enneagram and all those other pyschological instruments. This is the one to use: The Lipson-Shiu Corporate Type Test which classifies along four alternative axes:

• Intelligent-Stupid
• Lawful-Chaotic
• Important-Unimportant
• Good-Evil

I come out as a ...

SLUG (Board Monitor):

Worthy but dull. The SLUGs of this world can be relied on to follow orders unquestioningly. These individuals are highly prized for low-skill tasks like middle management, and make excellent drones (Example: Forrest Gump).

BTW Andrew Lipson does some awesome Lego Sculptures

More T-shirt humour

One downside of not being super fit on Sunday's bike ride was that I got overtaken by many people. As a consequence I saw just the backs of some T-shirts and could only guess at the front, specifically [with my guess]:

...ABSOLUTELY!
[would I do it again?]

...BLESSED ARE THE CHEESEMAKERS.
[what did he say?] *

*Life of Brian by Monty Python
See also previously "T-shirt humour"

T-Shirt humour

A guy at the Salisbury Festival on Saturday was wearing a T-shirt bearing the legend:

"There is a place for all God's creatures...
...right next to the potatoes and gravy!"

This put me in mind of the many excellent T-shirts I saw when we were at the NO JazzFest, including:

"Vampire Support Group"
"Masquerading as an Adult"
and
"The Five Food Groups of Rock'n'Roll
• Alcohol
• Nicotine
• Caffeine
• Sugar
• Grease"

Bits and bobs

Pied-a-terre: My sister Jane and husband have exchanged on their one-room flat in Soho with completion early next month. So we can look forward to some evenings of jollity in Soho (see "Walking in the Wild West End").

I'm sorry I'll read that again: It must be having done too many crosswords that causes me to parse things oddly. Last time I was in Waitrose I bought a stir fry pack containing "Free Range Egg Noodles".

That's nice I thought, these egg noodles are keep in fields and allowed to roam free, not like factory farmed noodles. Then I re-read and thought Ah I think they mean the chickens that produced the eggs.

Marriage of Convenience: I was amused by Empire Magazine's 'Book of Movie Trivia' suggestion that Whoopi Goldberg should marry Peter Cushing so she could become Whoopi Cushing.

The wit of the Oirish

Sunday morning I was scalping the small pocket handkerchief of grass that passes for our front garden in Wandsworth when a bloke stopped and leaned over the small brick wall.

"Yer doin' a grand job there" he commented in a pronounced Irish brogue.
   "Thank you" I replied.
"What you want to do," he advised, "is sprinkle a bottle of whiskey over the grass".
   Walking straight into it, I exclaimed "A waste of good whiskey!".
"Ah but," he quipped "when it grows back it'll come up half cut".

My name is Ozymandias

king of kings: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
* Ozymandias by Percy Bysshe Shelley

For I have built a mighty shed and the name of that shed shall be "Jackson".

As previously written I had decided on a second shed (see "Arthur 'Two Sheds' Jackson". On Wednesday between the full day's work and the ten mile training ride I popped down to Homebase and picked up the flatpack shed. The next couple evenings have been assembling it and Saturday morning saw me putting the final touches.

It is already stuffed full of garden chairs and gardening bits and pieces for, as everyone knows, a full shed is a happy shed. Now I think some kind of "topping out" ceremony is called for so the two sheds can be officially named.

Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson

I have written previously of the challenges in naming our bike shed (see "Jabba the Shed". Now the problem has been solved, the inspiration has been found.

We decided we needed a second shed in which to store our garden furniture that we won at auction. So off we went to Homebase this week to order a second bike shed. Of their range it seemed the best size and shape to accommodate our wooden folding chairs.

So now we will have two identical sheds and then I remembered the old Monty Python sketch about Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson.

So I will be calling one shed "Arthur" and the other shed "Jackson". Excellent! <grin>